This article was published in Belfast Telegraph on 17 June 2025

The constant flood of notifications and infinite content is rewiring our brains, making it harder to focus, switch off, and truly relax writes digital habits expert Menka Sanghvi

Menka Sanghvi

We’ve all been there — mid-conversation with a friend when our hand unconsciously reaches for our phone. Or perhaps you’ve sat down to complete an important task only to find yourself, 20 minutes later, scrolling through social media with no memory of how you got there.

Our smartphones are incredible tools that have transformed how we live, work and connect. Few of us can realistically throw our devices off Cave Hill and walk away. Instead, the key is being intentional about how and when we use our devices.

The modern distraction epidemic

The average person checks their phone hundreds of times daily — piercing their attention like a metronome every few minutes of the day. Each quick glance might seem harmless, but research by Dr Gloria Mark at UC Irvine shows it takes up to 25 minutes to return attention to a task after a digital interruption. In other words, we are perpetually distracted.

This isn’t entirely our fault. Apps and platforms are specifically designed to capture our attention through psychological triggers. The brain’s attraction to novelty and unpredictable rewards keeps us checking for new content, messages, and likes — like operating a slot machine, hoping the next swipe or scroll will be a good one.

As former Google design ethicist Tristan Harris explains, algorithms are being designed to trigger the most primitive and impulsive parts of the brain, exploiting our needs for validation, connection and instant gratification: “It’s a race to the bottom of the brain stem.”

The mental toll

This scattered attention doesn’t just affect productivity — it impacts our mental wellbeing too. Research increasingly shows connections between frequent phone checking and elevated anxiety. As I point out in my book Your Best Digital Life — Use Your Mind to Tame Your Tech co-authored with Jonathan Garner, “The cycle becomes self-reinforcing: anxiety triggers checking, checking provides temporary relief, but the overall pattern increases background anxiety.”

Our nervous systems remain in a constant state of alertness, waiting for the next ping or vibration. Even when notifications aren’t coming in, many of us experience “phantom vibrations” — thinking our phone is alerting us when it isn’t. Researchers have found that merely having your phone visible and within reach — even when you’re not using it — reduces cognitive capacity and impairs cognitive functioning.

Relationship interference

Perhaps most concerning is how our smartphone habits affect relationships. The phenomenon of “phubbing” — snubbing others in favour of our phones — has become so common we barely notice it anymore. But the message it sends is clear: whatever is on our screen is more important than the person in front of us.Even when physically present, our divided attention erodes meaningful connections. Half-listening while scrolling doesn’t create the sense of being truly seen and heard that relationships need to thrive. Indeed several studies have confirmed what we all feel: that having a phone around — again, even if you’re not using it — leads to lower levels of closeness, connection, and quality conversations.

Experimenting to find what works for you

So how do we treat our smartphones more like tools that we can pick up and put down as needed, rather than like compulsive addicts? The answer, I believe, isn’t about sheer willpower, but about being curious about your everyday behaviour, and questioning it with an open mind.

In Your Best Digital Life, Jonathan Garner and I make the case for objectively observing your habits, and regularly checking that they still align with what you value. Even the most intentional digital habits eventually drift into unconscious, autopilot behaviour.

What’s essential to understand is that your best digital life will never be a static picture. What serves one person might not serve another, plus what works for you today might not tomorrow.

This is why you need to have a reliable method for continually experimenting and adapting your use of technology as your needs and situations change. Here are some experiments you could try today:

⬤ Experiment 1: Practice Box BreathingWhen you’re feeling stressed or anxious, instead of turning to your closest device, take a minute to breathe intentionally. Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, and hold for four more. This slow, deep, diaphragmatic breathing helps calm your nervous system, making it less likely that you’ll need a digital pacifier.

⬤ Experiment 2: Create DistanceCharge your smartphone outside your bedroom and use a dedicated alarm clock instead. This physical boundary helps you to switch off at night, and prevents your phone from being the first and last thing you engage with every day. It can be a game-changer.

⬤ Experiment 3: Activate Grayscale ModeNearly all our phones have a setting that turns the screen black and white, making it drastically less appealing! Without vibrant colours, apps lose much of their visual pull. It’s remarkable how this simple change reduces the urge to mindlessly scroll.

⬤ Experiment 4: Communicate Your Tech UseWhen you need to use your phone around others, speak out loud what you’re doing: “I’m just checking when the next bus arrives” or “I need to quickly respond to this work message.” This transparency acknowledges the other person’s presence and sets clear expectations about your attention.

⬤ Experiment 5: Apply the 10-Minute RuleWhen you feel the urge to check your phone, make yourself wait 10 minutes first. This creates a buffer that often breaks the immediate impulse while giving you time to reconnect with your intentions. You might find the urge passes, or you might still check your phone — but you’ll do so more consciously.

The beauty of these experiments is that they’re subtle, small changes that won’t cost you much in time or effort. But if they work for you they could have a huge potential upside in regaining agency over your attention and emotions.

Changing your digital habits isn’t a one-off endeavour. It has to be an ongoing practice. If not, the next wave of tech will throw you off again.

Remember, the goal isn’t to use your tech less, it’s to use it more intentionally. And perhaps that’s the most liberating realisation of all — this isn’t simply about making your phone less available, it’s about making yourself more available to the things that matter.

Menka Sanghvi is a mindfulness and digital habits expert based in London, and co-author of Your Best Digital Life — Use Your Mind to Tame Your Tech with Jonathan Garner. She has over 20 years of experience in behavioural change, systems thinking and well-being science, and has worked with global organizations including the United Nations. She shares her latest thinking on AI on her Substack: Trying not to be a bot